How many of you get on Facebook or read blogs and you feel like a) everyone else’s life is perfect or b) people are outright lying about how perfect their lives are? **raising my hand**
I was recently at a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) meeting where we talked about how we as mothers are constantly comparing ourselves to other mothers. It’s so easy to look at the mom who walks in the door with her children and think she’s got it all together…she’s dressed in the latest fashion & so are her kids, she’s brought an elaborate homemade dish to share and she’s got a radiant smile plastered to her face. She’s got it all together…and you don’t! So at this point you either silently fume at this perfect mom, compare yourself constantly, beat yourself up, gossip about said mom, and/or never attend another gathering where you might have to run into another “perfect” mother! In the case of one of the mom’s at MOPS…she never even attempts to get on Facebook because she finds it a place of unhealthy expectations and comparisons (at which point I spoke up and told her to come on over to my personal Facebook page where things are “real”!).
You don’t have to be a mom or a woman to do this! Maybe you’re a college student, a business man, a grandparent, a single man/woman, etc. We live in a culture where we are constantly being fed images of how we should be and when we don’t live up to those images we are deemed worthless in our own eyes and possibly the eyes of others!
I am here to tell you that in no way, shape or form am I perfect! I enjoy writing about, learning about and teaching others how to get healthy…that is my passion and it really has been such for quite a long time. Am I always happy? Am I always cooking super healthy foods? Am I working out or running 7 days a week? Do my kids listen to every word I say and behave perfectly? My answer to all of the above questions is a resounding….NO! But I am saying this with a smile because I know I am far from perfect AND I am constantly striving to be better (on bad days I take breaks from that goal however!).
Let me give you a few facts of my life:
- I am an overachiever, a perfectionist
- I have been pessimistic most of my life…things were constantly be done to me, or at least that was my attitude!
- I was forced to go to church when I was younger and thus rebelled quite a bit as a teenager & young adult…but now, I am on FIRE for God!
- I was severely depressed during all four of my pregnancies and suicidal during pregnancy #3 and after babies #3 & #4 (that was as recent as a year ago!)
- I was on the maximum dosage of Zoloft (an anti-depressant) after I had my 3rd baby and all through my pregnancy with the 4th and up until she was 16 months old…but I recently got off this medication completely!
- I struggle with anger
- I am motivated to become a better person than I already am!
- I care immensely for other people…so much so that it can become debilitating
- I don’t like to cook…my amazing husband does most of the cooking in our house!
- I don’t feel like I identify with my oldest child…but I want to find ways to do so!
That’s definitely not a comprehensive list of who I am but one that I felt like sharing! I am a real person, who struggles with things just like every one. By no means is my life perfect…I struggle with eating sweets or drinking Starbucks when I’m feeling down, I drink fluoridated water, I buy foods containing high fructose corn syrup or preservatives! This doesn’t mean that I don’t want to work on my bad habits…I am constantly striving to become better!
Keepin’ it real over here!
(Note: Just wanted to clarify that the above scenario of the mom who walks into the room looking put together was a hypothetical situation & did not specifically happen at my MOPS gathering! I think us as moms have all had that experience at one time or another be it at the mall, a local playground, birthing class, etc.)
- No mother is perfect (themwordmag.wordpress.com)
- Perfectly Imperfect (daretoshineteo.com)
- Facebook Admits, Too Much Of Facebook is Not Healthy For A Person (thetechnologycafe.com)
- MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) (firstumceldorado.org)
- the disease called “perfection” (simplystaciablogs.wordpress.com)